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Covid Deaths are so Hard – How can I get Closure?

Covid Deaths are so Hard

Seeing a massive outcry from people around the world over, for help on how to deal with Covid deaths, broken marriages, the financial stress of job losses, and closure of businesses. Pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and share my experiences with the most vulnerable around us.

We will be very briefly touching on

  • The Journey of Grief
  • Covid Deaths and Closure
  • What is in our control?
Grief is Journey

I personally lost my twin brother 23 years ago and mum and dad 11 years.
The way I grieved for my brother was very different from the way I grieved for my mum. And the way I grieved for my dad was different from the way I am grieving for my three dear friends I have lost to covid.

Will it get any Better?

The Griefing Process is your Journey. It is so, unique and different for everyone.
So what might work for you, might not necessarily work for someone else.

The griefing process is not a neat line from A to B.
On the contrary, it is actually a rollercoaster ride filled with raw emotions of love, anger, guilt, sadness, depressions, isolation, and loneliness.
On some days these feelings will engulf you, and you will literally feel like you are drowning alive.

And just when you think you have drowned, the wave subsides and the sun begins to shine again. And hope begins to flicker ever so slightly that.
life will never return back to the complete picture you once had.
But will learn to smile again, and you will laugh again, not because you have forgotten them or have moved on. On the contrary, what you will learn through the grieving process is that they will be and always will be a part of you and you will forever hold them in your heart.

Covid Deaths and Closure

I have heard this word repeated over and over again. Due to Covid people are lacking closure and this, in turn, is affecting them in every facet of their lives. We know when a person suffers a loss, through death or some other cause, this induces a process of grieving.

“Covid Deaths” are robbing people of the opportunity of a final farewell, stripping the dead of their dignity and worsening the grief of the living.

Robbing people of the opportunity for a final goodbye.
Families are feeling a sense of guilt because they cannot give their dear departed, the send-off that they so rightly deserve.

What closure meant to me
Seeing them for the last time.
Kissing my brother his forehead for the last time and letting him know, that everything was going to be ok, and I will be there for mum and dad.

  • I will be a beacon of hope to my parents on their darkest day.
  • I will hold down fort, until we meet again.
  • Holding his cheeks for the last time.
  • Singing that last hymn through my tears.

For others, it may be saying that prayer for them or doing that last religious ritual.

You literally must force yourself to remember the last time you saw their face. There is this immediate cut off. You can physically see the casket, but you cannot physically love or touch the one you cherish so dearly.

After the funeral, the support system that was once there from family and friends is no longer. You have hundreds of condolences messages bombarding your phone, and you feel so alone. Digitally connected but yet so disconnected.

Sometimes you find yourself so desperately wanting someone just to hug you, that human touch and that human connection. You desperately yearn for someone just to visit you, just to sit with you. You know that they will never have the right word to say to dull the pain you are going through.
But that is ok, their presence alone is such a priceless gift.

In this video I am joined by Mehreen Mia Cassimjee she is an Empowerment  Specialist and Advisor.

Your take away from this video?

We cannot control death, we cannot control who dies, we cannot control how they will die, where they will die, or even when they will die.

But we can control our response to the death and our grieving process

We can control our mind, our faith in God, and our hope.
Take the time to thank God for day and for the strength and the breath for today. In your darkest moment’s let gratefulness become your flicker of hope.

We can celebrate that one person that survived Covid,
We can celebrate that one person who gallantly fought and beat the odds.

As gratefulness begins to fill up your heart it will put you in a positive mindset for the next day.

If you ask any athlete or trained soldier, what is the greatest battle they ever fought? They would undoubtedly say to you, their greatest battle was fought in the mind.

You see my dear friend,

Lives battles do not go to the strongest or fastest man.
But sooner or later it goes to the one who thinks he can.
If you believe you have won, then you already have already won.

There is no obstacle to too great you will not conquer.

So a man thinketh in heart that he shall be.

If this video has helped you, please share this video to family and friends.

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